As the blog title states, emotional waterfall. As much as we try to remain positive everyday, there are definitely days that you feel emotional. Here I am blogging with a relaxing background music after my gym session. I can't lie, but I am feeling pretty emotional and unhappy with things that are happening at work, trying to smile and stay positive here as much as I could.
What happened last night?
I reckon it's pretty weird why I'm talking about what happened last night when today's topic is about Emotional Waterfall. Haha! Let me go on first...
So I've got a group of friends here in Kuala Lumpur that is into golf, I reckoned that joining a group like this would bring more joy and positivity, especially when golf is something that I enjoy doing apart from diving and heading to the gym. Now, back to what happened last night... it was indeed a crazy night of alcohol, indoor golfing and lots of laughter...
However, I woke up today feeling horrible, not because of the group of friends (they're awesome by the way), but because I had far too much drinks that my sleep was kinda interrupted because my throat and lips were so dry. Enough of the details, I went to office today feeling like a walking zombie and I really hated it. Truth to be told, for countless years, I've been using alcohol to get me out of my internal struggles and lack of confidence. I've always been looked upon as a good drinker, well, not necessary good, but I'm the kind that will drink if I'm being challenged to. This habit and actions of mine has caused a toll not only on my body, but also my physical state of mind.
What does alcohol (in excess) does to you?
"Alcohol affects your brain, making you feel relaxed in a small amount of time. As you drink more, you become intoxicated and unsteady, and you might do or say things you normally won’t. People with depression and anxiety might use alcohol to help ease symptoms, but excessive alcohol use can also worsen your mental health." - WebMD
Sometimes we drink alcohol thinking that we can remove the stress and tension within us. While this may make us forget about our worries and stress momentarily, it doesn't remain for long. In fact, studies have shown that persistent use of alcohol thinking that it will remove the anxiety from us, may in return backfire and cause an even greater risk of worsening the anxiety and risk over time.
Well, I am not proud to say, but this is perhaps what I am facing. So here I am, sitting in front of my laptop reflecting on what happened the last few years, and I came to realise that I have been relying too much on alcohol and more often then not, I would go all out to drink surpassing my limits. Thinking back, I'm glad that I started this blog, it makes me think and reflect on my actions on a daily basis, forcing myself to think and change for the better.
To a certain extend, also a record that I can keep to see my progress in handling with my personal issues when it comes to my mental health.
Turning the negative thoughts into POSITIVE actions
Though I woke up today feeling like a walking zombie, I reckon that if I didn't bring myself to the gym and let my perspiration out, I would still feel horrible even after drowning bottles and bottles of water. More importantly, I don't want to break my promise to myself that the year of 2023 is a year of change and I should remain consistent in what I set out to do. After 1.5 hours in they gym, I'm glad that I now feel much better than this morning when I woke up! So to my readers who are reading this blog, don't give up on your promises you made to yourself in 2023, stay consistent, persistent and continue your journey of change or the the goals that you've set!
Signing out!
